4w3: The Aristocrat



Enneagram System  » Enneagram Wings

A Deep Dive into 4w3

"The Aristocrat"

Strengths, Weaknesses, Desires,

Compatibility & Love Languages

High society ladies being cheeky

The Enneagram 4w3 type, also known as the "The Aristocrat", is a unique blend of traits from the Four and Three types.

This personality type craves uniqueness, authenticity, and self-expression, but with a twist - the Three-wing adds a drive for achievement and ambition. 

Strengths and Weaknesses

The Enneagram Type 4 with a 3 wing (4w3) has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses that may be typically found within individuals of this type. However, it's important to remember that the manifestation of these traits can vary greatly depending on the individual's level of self-awareness, personal development, and the healthiness of their psychological state.

4w3 Strengths

  • Expressive and Creative: 4w3s are often very creative, using their expressive nature to communicate and connect with others.
  • Ambitious and Driven: They combine the ambition of the 3 wing with the desire for uniqueness of the 4, making them driven and goal-oriented.
  • Authentic and Individualistic: The influence of the 4 wing makes them authentic and individualistic, valuing their own uniqueness.
  • Empathetic and Compassionate: 4w3s often have a deep understanding of human emotions, making them empathetic and compassionate towards others.

4w3 Weaknesses

  • Prone to Melancholy: 4w3s can be prone to feelings of melancholy and may focus excessively on their deficiencies.
  • Overly Image-Conscious: They may be overly conscious of their image and how they are perceived by others.
  • Can be Overly Competitive: The influence of the 3 wing can make them overly competitive, which may strain relationships.
  • Struggle with Self-Doubt: 4w3s may struggle with self-doubt and insecurity, often questioning their identity and worth.

Understanding these traits can help 4w3s in their journey of self-discovery and improvement. They can utilize their strengths and work on their weaknesses to create a more balanced personality.

4w3 Basic Desires and Fears

The primary desire of a 4w3, like the core Four, is the need to be unique and authentic. They want to establish their identity, express their individuality, and create an impact on the world. This often drives them towards creative and expressive pursuits.

The addition of the Three-wing introduces a strong desire for achievement. A 4w3 doesn’t just want to be unique; they want to be uniquely successful and admired. Their ambition is often channeled into their self-expression, making them driven and goal-oriented.

On the other hand, the fundamental fear of a 4w3 personality type is the fear of being insignificant or without identity. They dread the thought of being lost in the crowd or being perceived as 'ordinary'. This fear often motivates them to strive for excellence and achievement.

The Three-wing introduces another layer to this fear. While the Four fears not having a unique identity, the Three fears failure and worthlessness. So, a 4w3 might fear not achieving their desired status or not living up to their own or others' expectations.

Understanding these basic desires and fears of the 4w3 personality type can offer valuable insights into their motivations, behaviors, and interactions with the world. It can serve as a foundation for personal growth and improved self-understanding. 

Our Top 5 Compatibility

recommendations for 4w3's

Remember, these recommendations are general and based on typical type characteristics. In real life, personal growth, mutual respect, communication skills, shared interests, and emotional maturity play significant roles in the success of any relationship. Compatibility can certainly exist between any types of the Enneagram.

Type 3w4 (The Professional): Given that 3w4 and 4w3 share both their primary types and wings with each other, they can bond over their mutual desire for achievement and uniqueness. This pairing can provide a balanced relationship where they both understand each other's struggles with identity and success.

Type 1w2 (The Advocate): Type 1w2's are principled, purposeful, and altruistic, which pairs well with the 4w3's expressive and driven nature. The 1w2's desire for rightness and the shared Type 2 wing's altruism can resonate with the 4w3's values.

Type 6w5 (The Defender): The 6w5's commitment to loyalty, caution, and security can provide stability to the 4w3. This can help ground the 4w3's quest for uniqueness and achievement, offering a thoughtful, analytical perspective that can be very appealing to the 4w3.

Type 7w6 (The Entertainer): This type is known for being enthusiastic, adventurous, and sociable. They can offer the 4w3 excitement, appreciation for creativity, and a positive perspective that can be very appealing to the 4w3. The loyal and sociable wing 6 also aligns well with the 4w3's desire for connection and success.

Type 4w5 (The Bohemian): Even though they share the primary type, the difference in wings brings an interesting dynamic to the relationship. The 4w5's intellectual and introspective nature can balance the more expressive 4w3, helping them dig deeper into their emotions, while the 4w3 can help the 4w5 express their inner world and engage more with the external world.



4w3's Love Languages

Love Languages are unique ways in which individuals express and receive love. They help us understand how we connect on an emotional level and they can greatly influence our interpersonal relationships.

The concept encompasses five main categories: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

By understanding these languages, we can communicate love more effectively and create stronger bonds with those around us.

Derived from common characteristics and tendencies typically associated with 4w3s, here are the top 3 love languages that likely resonate with a person having Enneagram Type 4w3.



Words of Affirmation

Words of Affirmation can strongly resonate with the 4w3 Enneagram Type. As a 4w3 is known for their creativity and individualism, they value unique and personalized expressions of love.

Words that affirm their uniqueness and acknowledge their accomplishments bring a deep sense of validation and can strengthen their relationships.



Quality Time

Quality Time is highly valued by 4w3 individuals. Their emotional depth and introspective nature make quality conversations and shared experiences a significant way of showing love and understanding.

Spending dedicated, uninterrupted time with them and actively engaging in their interests can deepen the bond you share with them.




Gifts are a love language that can also resonate with the 4w3 Enneagram Type. 4w3 individuals appreciate the thought and effort that goes into selecting meaningful gifts that reflect their unique personality and taste. Personalized and expressive gifts can make them feel valued and understood, contributing to the overall depth of their relationships.  


Famous People with 4w3 Personality

Famous 4w3 personalities include Judy Garland, Prince, and Sarah Bernhardt, displaying the artistic and individualistic qualities of this personality type.

Betty Baker M.A. Psych, M.Ed

About the Author

Betty Baker is an awarded marriage and family therapist and contributor to the internationally renowned PeaceBuilders® Program - a science-based, research-validated violence prevention curriculum and professional development program for children, grades pre-K to 12.